Did You Have a Good Christmas?

Going all the way back to my childhood, I remember the usual post-Christmas, pre-New Year's greeting: How was your Christmas? Or more likely, Did you have a good Christmas? The question is largely rhetorical, kind of like "hello, how are you?" as the ubiquitous greeting that no one really wants to hear a detailed answer for. The answer to "how are you" is supposed to be "fine." The answer to "did you have a good Christmas" is "oh yes," followed by a litany of fabulous gifts received, goodies consumed and perhaps relatives visited. This week I've been thinking about our Christmas, and how it was this year, and why it seemed so satisfying. For a couple without children or grandchildren, Christmas, at least the gifting part, becomes more about other people, sometimes people we have never met. It also becomes a time of remembrance of cherished family and friends we will not see again.

Every Advent, our church decorates a tree (photo above) in the sanctuary, but its ornaments are scarves, mittens and hats. By Dec. 19 it was loaded, and the next day it was "undecorated" and the warm knit items went downstairs to Isaiah 58 ministries for distribution to their clients. I like to think of a toddler wearing the cute tiny mittens I found, or a man wearing the driving gloves, or a student wearing one of the scarves knitted by a friend in our knitting group. This is one of my favorite holiday trees. Of course my other favorite holiday tree is ours, the one we put together every year, that Norm patiently strings the white lights on, that we carefully put the beaded garlands on before adding the ornaments. This year we didn't go with a theme, but put on the whole collection, from grandma Mc's german glass lanterns to the little sled my dad made to our newest item, a wooly lamb that I bought at Ten Thousand Villages during Quadrennial last summer. It came all the way from Peru! Our Christmas tree is what ties us to past generations and past holidays spent together.

Remember when you were a child and you waiting to see what Santa would bring? I was always impressed that Santa came every year, even if my dad was off to Dallas driving his bus, even though our 800-square foot tiny house lacked a chimney. Mother had a Santa set that she cherished and put out every year. I have it now, along with other Santas I've collected over the years. The little house and the short green trees in this photo are from Mother's set. The train is among the oldest I have that my dad made. Mother always said the red caboose was a car he made especially for her. He made them all by hand, from patterns in Model Railroader: no kits.

Now the 1923 Story and Clark upright that my grandfather Mc bought for mother on her 9th birthday is just the right width to display a length of track, the engine and four cars of Daddy's O-gauge masterpiece. At Christmas a lot of my Santas prefer to travel by train so they get to hang out here for a month or so. Daddy made the little gray house, too. It's a duplex, and there is a separate outhouse out back. If anyone cares, the doors do open and it's a two-holer. The sleigh from mother's Santa set was made by Daddy, too. And mother's reindeer, which are hollow and seem to be made out of some kind of hollow plastic, date from the late 1930s or early 1940s. Just like the Christmas ornaments, and the nativity sets, the Santa scene recalls those many good Christmases of childhood as well as those of my and Norm's years together.

No they aren't real. These are the porch poinsettias so they have to be of fabric to withstand our cold Missouri nights. These greet the mail carrier every day as they are just above our mailbox on a post.

I have the feeling that often "good Christmas" is a code for "did you get a lot of presents" or "did you get the presents you wanted." This year we decided not to get presents, but to give them. It feels good to know that someone in St. Louis has warm hands and head, that someone in Florida will get tutored in literacy, that a woman in a developing country will get sewing supplies or even a microloan, that children at a day care center in St. Louis that serves low income families will have new equipment to replace what was lost in a November flood, that an elderly person living in a retirement home in Tulsa will receive compassionate care, that some third-graders in a city school will get a new book for Christmas. These were our gifts to each other and others this year, and it was a very good Christmas indeed. We hope you received meaningful gifts, the gifts that you wanted, and we also hope that you had an opportunity to give good gifts-- perhaps the gift of yourself, your love or your presence to someone this Christmas. At our house we observe 12 days of Christmas, so we will be celebrating all the way to January 6, maybe longer. Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, ho ho ho Merry Christmas!